20 years together and you broke it all apart
Our family, home, and jobs, not to mention my poor heart
For some pretty little young thing that hasn’t got the brains
To see the idiocy of dating thee while you flush your life down the drain

Oh nobody gives me credit for the things I didn’t do
1000 times I cried and tried to work it out with you
Instead of leaving years ago for the selfish things you do
Now you claim that I’m insane and leave for your new boo

I didn’t throw you down the stairs
Or run you over with my car
Didn’t practice kickboxing on ya
Or leave a single scar
I didn’t kick you in the nuts or slap you in the face
And I didn’t buy a flamethrower to go and torch your place

Nobody gives me credit for the words I didn’t say
Like when I refrained from callin’ names to your face today
I didn’t call you Professor Pervert, or even Love Zombie
And I didn’t say Holly Homewrecker when we spoke of your new lady

I didn’t call the reporters and tell them what you did
I didn’t call her parents and say you were dating their little kid
I didn’t tell your employer about you dating your student
And I didn’t call up Vinnie to get you shoes made of cement

I didn’t tell your colleagues, although I hear they learned before
I didn’t tell your students that one of their peers was a whore
I found out all the neighbors knew when they told me of your deeds
I’d kept silent to protect you, I guess it turns out stupidly

Oh nobody gives me credit for the things I didn’t do
Despite the slights and petty fights that you put me through
Though I’ve imagined a lot of revenge, cause Lord knows I’m no saint
Nobody gives me credit, for showing such restraint

I didn’t let the air out of your tires, or put a dead fish in your air intake
Didn’t cross any of your wires, or cut the lines to your brakes
Didn’t swap your car accessories with models of male anatomy
And I didn’t loosen any fuel lines to make you leak gasoline

I didn’t shame your girlfriend when she was in the waiting room
I didn’t punch her lights out or send her to her doom
Didn’t pull her hair or tell everyone there about the two of you
Oh nobody gives me credit for the things I didn’t do

I guess today it’s plain to say I don’t wish you much luck
And if your engine goes and you need a tow I wouldn’t give a… truck
But I s’pose as far as it goes I may someday wish you well
Because one day you’ll have to pay when you go straight to hell